Let Me Dream
by VeneficaMelody
Summary: After Spike's death, Faye loses herself in a dream world of her own making. Is it better when you pretend...? One-Shot.


**_Let Me Dream_**

    The sound of Kuraki Mai's "Kiss" faded in silence as the DJ began to speak about the up-and-coming hip artists' career. Turning the fluted wine glass so that it caught the sunlight streaming through the window, the woman pursed her lips as she looked at the ruby-red liquid. It was half-full, but she hadn't consumed more than a sip yet. The alcohol would have gone to her head, and she needed to be thinking clearly when she was confronted by the man who would be coming through the doorway soon.   
    Noon, and Spike hadn't yet made an appearance on the Bebop. Where had he been all night? Faye wasn't foolish enough to think that Spike actually cared about her, but he had promised to take Ed to town for a bit of shopping. Although he hated the kid, it wasn't like him to renege on a promise -- and Ed was getting a bit too antsy for Faye's peace of mind.  
    The bottle of wine she'd had stored in her room in a specially-chilled fridge-box for such an occasion was still mostly full, but she had expected it to be emptied the night before. Instead of Spike showing up at the docking bay as she'd expected, he had radioed in to Jet and announced that something had come up.   
    _Something had come up?_ More like he had found someone that he used to know -- probably a _blonde_ someone. Faye wasn't the jealous type, at least not normally, but when it came to Spike… Something just snapped.   
    Visions of Spike walking away as gunshots echoed in her ears floated through Faye's consciousness, but she pushed it away when she didn't readily recognize the memory. It wasn't important anyway; something from the past or the future that wasn't imperative to the moment at hand. The green-haired man would be coming through that door soon, a guilty look on his face at the thought of betraying Faye with that… floozy!   
    Sipping at the wine, she let it wash over her tongue as she savored the flavor. Soon, her Spike would be coming home… 

*** 

    The sun lent its warm rays to the lapping ocean waves, tickling Faye's feet as she sat on the warm sand. Her skimpy bikini was adjusted just so to allow her lover the right view, and her hair was pushed back to reveal the slim line of her neck. A serene smile was on her face as she tilted her head back to catch the sunlight. Spike had left to grab some drinks; he would be back soon.  
    Very few warm-sand beaches where you could actually _swim_ in the oceans were left, but Spike had managed to find this private little cove for the both of them where they could relax together. The crashing waves lent a soft music to the peaceful scene, and Faye smiled as she felt warm hands on her shoulders. Turning to look at her lover, her eyes opened slowly… 

*** 

    Wincing at the pain between her thighs, Faye shifted on the semi-soft bed. What had happened -- had she been attacked; raped? No… Slowly, the memories started to come back. She was in the hospital; she had just given birth. The baby that she and Spike had created out of love was being cared for now that it had left her body. She felt as if she had been run over by a train, but it was worth it for the new life -- a life born of love.   
    Spike hadn't been too excited at the prospect of her having to deal with the pain of expelling the child from her womb, but he had acted quite the proud papa when he was holding the child in his arms. A flash came to her of Spike crying, "Who's receiving it?" and bounding toward Ed as the girl typed at her computer. She ignored it; ignoring the feeling that whoever the person who had been thinking of was very important. It was the past; it couldn't touch them now.  
    Opening her eyes, she looked up at the hospital ceiling, grimacing at the bland view. Turning her head, hating the feeling of exhaustion that held her body in its grip, she called out to the nurses she could see in the hallway. Asking for her baby and Spike, she felt a sense of peace wash over her as the nurse left to retrieve the both of them.  
    Closing her eyes for a few moments of rest, she forced them open again upon hearing the soft cooing of a baby… 

*** 

    Fading into the distance was "Blue," by the composer Yoko Kanno, leaving behind only silence. Not even the crashing of waves or the welcoming sounds of a new baby could pierce the darkness; the quiet. Calling out in fear, Faye summoned Spike to her side. But no sound left her open mouth; not even when she began to sob in fright. What was going on? He said he'd always be there for her, even before the baby had been born. So where was he… Why did she have all of these memories, these visions, of him acting so coldly to her and leaving her for… something?   
    They weren't thoughts that she wanted in her head, and she hated to think of them. Blocking them out was the only thing that helped, but now she couldn't get rid of them. Where was the peace she had been experiencing only moments before?   
    Visions of a blonde woman flashed through her mind; a woman that she had to be afraid of. Not of physical violence, but a threat of a different kind… Who was she; why did she bring such darkness to Faye's life? Whimpering deep in her throat, Faye didn't know what was going on. It was a black void where she didn't know up from down, or right from left. Was she standing? Sitting? Laying? Everything had blurred together, mixed with images of Spike walking away, a blonde woman calling his name…   
    "Spike!!" 

*** 

    The older man frowned down at the woman thrashing on the bed, his eyes softening in pity as the doctor injected something into her system that would calm her down. He had explained that, every so often, she got very upset and needed to be sedated. Other times, she lived in a dream-world where everything was 'right' for her.   
    Jet sighed, shaking his head as Faye settled into a restless sleep. Ever since the day they had learned that Spike had died after losing Julia and going after Vicious, Faye had gone… insane.  
    There was no other word for it; she had snapped. Jet had had no choice but to commit her to an institution, where they were taking care of her. He had situated himself on Mars, where the hospital was, and he and Ed visited her every other day. Some days were better than others, but she didn't know anyone. She stared into the distance blankly, lost in her dream-world that kept her from the harshness of reality.   
    According to the doctors, who had hooked her up to some sort of high-tech machine, Faye's dreams were to fool herself into thinking that she and Spike were lovers; that they had a family together. In none of her dreams had she actually seen or heard Spike, so it was possible that her subconscious knew that he had never cared for her.   
    The little "blips" that showed disturbances in her dreams were when she got flashbacks of what had really happened the day Spike had left, or when she remembered about Julia. Jet didn't know what to do for the woman, and he felt sorry for her. Sorry that she couldn't live in the real world after Spike's death.   
    But perhaps a dream world was better for her, if it made her happy… 

*** 

    **Author's Notes**: I know, this was very short. But… It's here. ^_^;; I hope you'll review with your comments. 


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